bushwick blues

tomorrow is the anniversary of 9/11. the ten year anniversary i should say. it doesn't feel that long ago, but when i examine the details, it looks like ages ago.

i had just transferred to sam houston state in huntsville, texas, to get my radio/television degree. the morning started the same as usual. i woke up, turned on the television and flipped it to sportscenter. there was some long story on about golf or soccer or something. i had no interest in it. so i started flipping around and to my amazement i see one of the towers in flames. i wake up kassy, who was my girlfriend/roommate at the time and we watch it. at this point, the reports indicate that it was a plane that accidentally flew into the towers. we couldn't believe it. we finished getting ready and walked to class. by the time we walked to class, which was about a fifteen minute walk, another plane had hit the second the tower. someone has wheeled a television into our class and we all sat and watched. needless to say, the class was canceled. but no one went anywhere. we didn't go home. we didn't know what to do. we just sat and watched, slowly realizing this was something bigger than any of us could have imagined.

finally, around noon, we walked home. i called my mom and my dad. i had to make sure everyone was okay. because that day every horrible thought seemed possible. they were fine. so i watched more at home. finally, i couldn't digest another image. kassy, natalie and i went bowling to escape the madness of the day. we bowled for a few hours, trying to get some sense of happiness or normalcy out of that day. finally we went home and i sat and watched more. i called my dad again. as i talked to him, i watched dan rather sign off. he must have been on the air fourteen hours that day. it was after midnight. i hung up with my dad and sat in the dark for a while. i didn't know anyone who died. i just knew most of them were regular people like me with regular families. they couldn't have predicted that day. how horrible. things were going to change going forward. we had the support of the world. we were going to respond and vanquish those that were against us.

it's ten years later. bin laden is dead. we are still in afghanistan. we are still in iraq (that's another story altogether. i'll let history tell that one). we're in midst of a great recession. we have a completely useless governing body. the people of the united states are unprepared for what's coming. how can you prepare for a jobless, inflationary state when you can't afford education, health care or a house? get ready to add food to that list.

how could that one event have thrown us so far off track? or did it have anything to do with it? we were headed towards a recession when bush took office. the dot.com bubble had burst and the housing bubble had not yet been hatched. deregulation was already in full swing. who knows what alternate state was ahead of us. either way, it didn't happen. we must deal with what we're presented with.

tomorrow, and today since i'm writing this, think back to that day and the people that were lost then and going forward in two wars. think about the decisions we've made since that day. vow to yourself that we won't get fooled again. question those in power. a healthy distrust of government/media is what we need. because i have news for you: every time we blame our problems on the poor, every time we blame our problems on gays, every time we blame our problems on illegal aliens, there is a corporation laying off hundreds of thousands of people and using that money to give to your freely elected representatives and senators to court favor and gain more power to cut health care for you and your family, to cut unemployment payments, to offshore their profits and not pay taxes on them, to use forced and exploited labor in other countries, to disable regulation allowing them to pollute more, merge with other companies and grow in power/influence and finally pass legislation to make it all legal.

the poor cannot influence power. only power can influence power.

WILCO - "Born Alone"

Jeff Tweedy performs the Black Eyed Peas' "I Gotta Feeling"

little pad

i've been threatening to do this for some time. so i finally went out back yesterday with my little camera phone and took some pictures of our garden area. the bottom picture shows the many dead bodies of the yellow jackets that tried to take over our backyard this summer. we had a pretty big problem with those guys. this little contraption worked really well though. the next picture up is of one of our morning glories on the back fence. demitria planted those in between the two flower/vegetable boxes and they took off in the last month. it's really cool because they open up in the morning and then close up during the day when it's hot. but now that it's cool all day, that's right all you folks in texas and elsewhere, it's cool all day here already, they stay open all day. the next shot shows the pretty little tomatoes that will be picked in a few more days once they ripen up a bit more. demitria picked eight the other day. and we still have more coming. the top picture shows the entire area. we have two boxes with tomatoes, herbs, jalapenos, strawberries and wild flowers. the bees love it out there. but they don't mess with us the way the yellow jackets did. so that's our backyard that we put together in our denver house. i think when we get our own place, we're going to have an amazing garden because once i pass this test i can't think of anything better to do on the weekends than garden and read economic books. who would have known those would have become the enjoyable moments in my life? crazy, huh?

one sunday morning

could you kill a honey bee?
driving, sometimes
makes me drowsy
and in between
i believe
there are scenes in trees

funeral flowers keep all winter
how natural, is this place
and this piece of prosthetic
pumpkin puppetry
it's all lost on me

i saw a picture of a paramour
dead in a catalog, scratching
mixed screams of heavy confusion
buried in love and redemption
he was never a real authority