winter

it's here. it's about 32 degrees outside today. it's time for winter music. that means the following artists will be returning to my stereo:

1. scott walker
2. leonard cohen
3. the rolling stones
4. yo la tengo
5. lou reed

weird how 3 of the 5 are singer/songwriters, not bands.

has anyone watched the new office with andy as the boss? i haven't really liked the first few episodes, but this week's was pretty good. i watched it this morning. i woke up super early today, like around 7:30. now i'm pretty tired. i should take a nap. i don't like taking naps though because i wake up feeling like all exhausted and mushy brained, like i can't think straight.

is it impolite to say you don't want to hold someones baby? i'm not big on holding babies and i'd really rather not in most situations. there are a few where i would, like when ana had a baby. i held her baby. but like people you're not that close to, i would rather not hold their baby. is that rude? can i just not be in the mood to hold babies? is that an affront to the babymaker?

you say tomato, i also say tomato

these are our tomatoes. they are from our garden out back. i posted some photos of our garden about a month or two ago. this is probably the last batch of red tomatoes we'll get. we still have plenty of green tomatoes. the weather is changing and it's getting colder. they don't do great when it's cold. that's why we've had so many grow down here in denver. you talk to people in the mountains and they can't grow tomatoes. we had some strawberries too, but we eat those right out back. we usually jump and down in excitement while we eat them. they're about the size of a dime. tiny, tiny strawberries. they taste awesome though.

we saw 'the ides of march' last night for free. it kind of sucked. i love clooney. this was not his best work. the most entertaining part of the night was the people. there are people there who go every week and line up and stand in line for hours to see free movies. there was a guy who knew like ever fourth group of people. he went to every little group and told each group what an amazing cast this movie had. and then he would name each person in the movie and walk away. and i could hear him each time. he was loud and very excited. and then later, he'd come back and tell each group that he would save them some seats. it was great. i ate so much popcorn though. big time. too much.

death and all of his friends

i don't normally have dreams that i remember. last night was an exception. i don't actually remember the whole dream. i don't really know what it was about in the beginning.

all i know is that i was going to die. i knew it. i felt it. i was scared, but ready. when you die in dreams, you usually wake up. at least i do. so i don't think i've ever really died in a dream or at least i've never gone all the way through the process. last night, i did. i was lying in a bed. and as the time came, my body quickly tightened, not in a way that hurt or was uncomfortable, but it was as if my body made one last gasp. and then it released. and i was dead. my mind didn't stop though. i just left my body. and i think i spent the rest of the dream as a ghost.

but the main point is that i felt my body constrict and stop. i'm not absolved of all my fears of passing. but something about that dream made me comfortable with the process. of course, i could still slam into another car or something like that. i'm sure that won't feel great.

in other news, we went to estes park this past weekend. it was incredible. i love that place.

in other, other news, we had a mouse in the garage. we actually had two mice. one was killed in a trap we set with peanut butter. the other was killed by some poison we left out. the mouse ate so much of the poison, his scat turned green, the color of the poison. we found him in the back of the garage.

in other, other, other news, i took my test this past weekend and i was actual able to look myself in the face after taking it. i have never had that feeling before. i hope it translates into a passing grade.