finish your collapse and stay for breakfast

i had another dream last night that i wish to share with the masses. it's short on details, but long on emotion.

dwight schrute and i are working on a road project. basically, we're standing on the side of a road in the middle of nowhere shoveling some chemical on the shoulder. in addition to the two of us, there are two tigers hanging out watching us work. that's right: TWO TIGERS!! we pay them no attention and neither one of us show any regard for them being there. behind me as i'm shoveling are a stack of boxes that form a kind of domino highrise. it's not too tall, only about as tall as me.

as i'm shoveling, one of the tigers gets up and walks up that ramp and jumps on my back. i am terrified and screaming for help. dwight, who has now turned into michael scott, runs away in terror to get back to the car, which is now a truck. when he gets to the car, which is now a truck, there is a man there waiting for him who begins to beat him with one of our shovels. that might be the weirdest part of the dream. why did he get the crap beat out of him? and who was this mystery man? i have no explanation for that one.

who knows. at this point, i have a tiger on my back. he is slightly gnawing on my arm, just playfully. he loosens his mouth just enough for me to pull my arm out and i begin to run like the wind. the tiger begins this wild pouncing motion. he jumps high into the air and comes down hard, only to quickly bounce back up into the air so he can pounce me into the ground. he is no longer playing with me. i reach the car, which is now actually a truck, and i'm having a hard time getting up the side of the truck so the tiger can't get me.

then i wake up. i have had tons of dreams in my life. lots of them where i get killed or i'm about to get killed, either by gangs, or wars or whatever. this was the most terrifying dream i've ever had. the idea of being eaten alive is utterly horrific. i woke up and could not go back to sleep.

now here is my explanation for this dream, not exciting, but i believe true. once i had woken up, i got up and went to the bathroom. while i was there, i noticed that benjamin, our cat, had knocked over his cup of water, either he did or my wife did at some point in the night. so i imagine he got thirsty and was meowing and walking over me, which has been known to happen. so what started as an innocent "dwight schrute and me" dream, turned into a tiger mauling nightmare because my cat did not have his water.

as far as michael scott getting bludgeoned with a shovel, i have no idea.