it's good to be king

i've had two moments in my life when true genius struck. there's probably been more, but i only remember two. they both involve food. that's probably why i remember them.

one night i was hanging out with pete and tanner and we went to the house of pies. i was really, really hungry that night. when our food came, i ate mine so fast that everybody else still had about 95% of their food left. for some reason, i put my plate on the table behind us. i have no idea why i did this. the waitress, who i noticed did not bring our food, came over to ask us how we were doing. i looked around and made a play. i told her that everybody else had received there food and my order didn't come. she said she was sorry and brought me another sandwich. i ate two sandwiches that night for the price of one. awesome move.

last night was another stroke of genius. as some of you know, i'm in kansas city. i had been out that evening and came back to my room, just laying around the room, watching television some time around 11 or midnight. my next door neighbors were being really loud. i thought about calling downstairs to the lobby or writing them a note telling them to shut the hell up. i thought there had to be a better way to get back at them. i had overheard them ordering a pizza on the phone. i thought, how awesome would it be if i jacked their pizza? that would teach them.

so i waited outside my room, by the elevators ready to intercept their pizza. i was pretty sure they had prepaid for it and all i had to do was pick it up. my wife called and i told her what i was doing. she did not agree with it, but she said i might as well do it right. she told me to go the lobby and meet the guy there. that way he would be glad not to have to come up to the room, we would not be close to the room if for some reason he needed to get in and it provided me with an escape if it backfired and they hadn't prepaid. so i did. i went downstairs and right as i was walking out of the elevator, the guy gets there. i hang up with my wife and approach him. i told him that miguel had called, which was the dude's name next door because i heard him say it, and that i was there to pick it for him. i tipped the guy and he gave me the pizza. i went back to my room and ate half of it laughing the whole time. i didn't hear them order another one, but someone did come to the room late, about forty-five minutes later. might have been another pizza, i'm not sure.

i heard them talking today. they're here for a wedding. so it's probably going to be a louder, later night than last night. if they order another item, i might go for it.

sheer genius. and the pizza was good too. really good. and big. that will probably be my highlight from my time in kansas city.