hurts so good

i never thought it would hurt getting feeling back. there's a small patch of skin right under my knee on the left side of my shin bone that was numb following the surgery. they didn't tell me that they were probably going to severe a small nerve there. however, during my checkup, they said most, if not all, of all the feeling would come back. and it's coming back. but i was not prepared for how tender the skin would be when the feeling did come back. it's a strange sensation because it's not 100%. i probably can feel about 70-80%, so when i move my finger over the patch, it's like touching your hand when you've slept on it and it's waking up, but there are no daggers in your skin as the blood rushes back. i have been running for the past two weeks, but not that great. it doesn't last long. but the strength is coming back. i predict no problems hiking this summer. i also predict eating sandwiches this summer. with chips.

peyton manning is coming to denver!!! no more tebow!!! i love it people. i love it. i have no idea if he has any gas left in him, but i do know that tebow sucks. and having peyton here will at least be interesting. also he's out of the afc south, clearing the way for a decade of texans dominance. it's fantastic. i'm ecstatic. in fact, i went out and bought some black spray paint and spray painted number 18 on all of my shirts, including my dress shirts. i subsequently found out he plans on not wearing that number. and i was informed that spray painted dress shirts are not acceptable work attire. i predict a polyester fueled fire this weekend.

it ain't me babe

as the political puppet politicians are dancing for us, making us believe that it is our decision who we elect and that they somehow represent our interests and not the interests of the major corporations and major banks in the world, other things are happening. things that aren't discussed on the nightly news or fox news or cnn news or whatever news cable source you choose.

this actually comes from wired magazine. the piece describes how by 2013 the NSA will have a system in place to collect information on you from every google search you make, every personal email you receive or send, every cell phone call you make and every bit of electronic debris you leave behind will be collected, assembled and put into a little folder with your name on it, ready to be used against you when the time comes. and do you know what the response will be from the american public? what is the NSA?

additionally, we have a wonderful monster of a bank called bank of america. it's our bank! it's the bank of america! sounds great! it's actually a gigantic festering sore that refuses to do anything other than systematically destruct their customers, the banking industry and our trust. the best part is that we refuse to let them fail. the government explicitly backs this monster and their mission to feed on us, the public.

finally, there is good news friends! someone, actually a guy named greg smith, wrote his resignation letter and mailed it to the new york times. where did he work? goldman sachs, the gigantic vampire squid. i hope that colleges, high schools, veterans halls, pension firms, asset management corporations, churches and everyone in between prints out his resignation letter and posts it for everyone to see.

in other news, i about to finish reading siddhartha. a wonderful book about a young man moving through his life trying to find meaning, understanding and holiness, a closeness to the spirits. i highly recommend it. he describes periods in his life as transitory and ultimately comes to find that life is transitory. what we knew or thought at one point in our life does not define all periods of our life. his story can easily be applied to our current lives or at least my life. i believe there are trials and challenges we must face and live a life that may be unsuitable for a period just to experience it. it is these experiences that finally allow us to move forward and travel to where we ultimately need to be in life, whether physically or mentally.

we i finish, i'm going to read the picture of dorian gray. i'm ecstatic to have time to read these amazing words.

and so it goes

my favorite fiction author is probably kurt vonnegut. his take on war and the atrocities of human nature are filled with sarcasm and wit. i immediately took to his views on the fractured schism of the human psyche. unfortunately, he died falling off a ladder a few years ago. i'm sure he would have had something witty to say about this end of his. a biography has been published about the man. if the book is anything as good as the review, i can't wait to read it.

meet me in the basement

a wise man once said to play this song when something epic went down.

this is that moment.

i passed my last test.

let me say that again.

i passed my last test.

let me say that again.

i passed my last test.

i finally landed this thing. what was seen as a curse was probably a blessing. when i tore my acl, i thought i had to turn this into something positive and beneficial to my life. so i studied. i was in the basement every day all day. i started around 11 in the morning and went until midnight stopping to sometimes eat and pet the cat. when i had to go back to work, i took a weekend off and i started again to finish it.

and i finished it. i'm done.

i have to say something though. although i took the tests, i never would have gotten through this without my wife. she was there for me each time it didn't go my way. she was there to do the laundry so i had something to wear. she was going to the grocery store and making dinners and lunches. she was cleaning the house and the cars. she was taking the cat to the vet. she was picking out birthday gifts, wrapping them and sending them. she was holding my head each time i felt like i failure. she was there each time. from beginning to end. i could never have done this without her help and support. i plan on paying her back throughout the next few years by spending each weekend with her and making sure she knows how much i love her and respect her.

so that's it folks. the plan i set forth in 2006 is complete. now it's time for the next plan.

got to get you into my life

i'm discovering all sorts of interesting aspects of life again now that i'm not studying all weekend. like yesterday, we woke up. had coffee. listened to 'wait, wait don't tell me' on npr. then we went and looked at a house. then i went to work out. i wasn't rushed. i wasn't in a hurry. i wasn't freaking out every second i wasn't studying. it was fantastic. it cleared my head.

we had dinner out last night at the capital grille. the dinner okay. our waiter was a nice guy, but his memory was a little off. demitria ordered a glass of wine and he never delivered it. not a huge deal. but then we paid with two gift cards. and we a had a balance on one of them, but he didn't give it back. so we asked for it back. he couldn't find it. so the restaurant gave us cash back. the waiter handed me money. how odd is that? have you ever been out to eat and the restaurant pays you? i have to say, i liked it. i hope it happens again.

then we went to a play at the vintage theatre, right next to the vine street pub. the play was pretty good. i'd say the playhouse had about 80 seats in the place. nice and cozy. the play was pretty good. it was a comedy about a woman who basically wants a new life and when that opportunity presents itself in the way of an older man who misunderstands her situation, she takes it. the play broke the fourth wall and had audience members on stage for like two scenes. it was interesting. i liked the play. and i would totally go back. demitria is thinking about maybe volunteering there. i highly encouraged it. i think she would love it.

today we're sitting in the house listening to 'breakfast with the beatles' about to have breakfast and go the garden show at the convention center. i'm hoping to get some ideas for an amazing garden when we buy a house. i want flowers, food and fragrance. i'm marketing that.

great weekend. these are the weekends i've been missing. i'm so glad to have them back.

sums it up

one more down

one more down people. i passed FAR.

now i can only hope and pray that i passed AUD this last week.

i've worked harder for this than anything i've ever done.

and i'm finally closing in on the finish line.

by the way, did anyone else notice that if the giants would have kicked the extra point instead of going for two, that i would have successfully predicted the exact final score of the super bowl?

awesome night.

mucho mungo pt. 3

we woke up this morning and took more pictures. the sun is out now and the snow is starting to melt. it probably snowed another two or three inches, so the snow in the backyard was up to my knees. we took a couple extra pictures too. the icicles are hanging off of every window on the outside of the house. it's pretty awesome. the grill in the backyard has tons of snow piled on top of it. it looks like an egg. and ice egg. also, the truck bed is full of snow. the shots of the two cars don't really tell the whole story because i've been clearing it off the windows and hood. if you don't do that periodically, then when you finally do, the ice is pretty thick and hard to scrub off. but it's been fun. not sure how long all the snow will last though.

super bowl pick: giants 22, patriots 17.

mucho mungo pt. 2

we decided to forego the 4'o clock pictures. around 3, it really hadn't snowed much. but since around 3, it's snowed a lot. so tomorrow we're going to update our photos and see how much more snow we received in 24 hours. that should make for some good science.

mucho mungo

we're alive and well in denver. the forecast is calling for snow with a touch of snow for today and tomorrow we can expect snow in the morning with shattered snow in the afternoon. both of us are working from home. i decided to do a little experiment. the pictures posted above are from 10 a.m. on friday. at 4 p.m., i'm going to do the same thing and see if you can visually tell more snow has fallen. then tomorrow, i'm going to do the same thing. my beautiful photographer and i will brave the harsh conditions for this experiment for science and human knowledge. isn't that what it's all about?

so at 10 a.m., the snow is about mid calf. we'll see if it gets higher later in the afternoon. the world is on edge.

been a long time

man. that was a long break from posting. it was not a self imposed break. there's just been a lot of stuff happening around here. but now it's calming down again. i have no studying this weekend. can you believe it? it's probably the first weekend since july that i haven't spent a majority of the time studying.

what are we going to do to celebrate? i'm glad you asked:

friday: we're going to the hi-dive to see cass mccombs live. i've been to one show at the hi-dive. i saw the love language there way back in like march of last year. it's an awesome venue. it reminds me of walters in houston, but smaller. and little dive-i-er. as noted in the title.

saturday: going to the park. that's after we sleep in. see, i've been waking up early (around 8) every weekend to get up and work out and drink coffee and start studying. not this weekend. sleepin in. 'saturday in the park'. throw the ball around. toss the frisbee. probably hit up cheeseman park. it's not a long walk from here.

sunday: super bowl!!! head up to the college inn and watch the super bowl. that's enough said about sunday.

in between, i'll probably watch some party down and pet sofie.

of course, this could all be derailed if that storm comes in and we get 10 inches of snow, which is possible on friday. that would change the whole weekend. what would we do then? i have no idea. lots of watching party down and lots of petting sofie.

the increasingly exotic tales of sofie b.

feeling yourself disintegrate

i know i've posted a lot of videos lately. but i guess if there was one that i'd want people to listen to, it would be this one because i'm listening to it over and over again as i write this.

"feeling yourself disintegrate."

nik cohn once said pet sounds was "sad songs about loneliness and heartache. sad songs even about happiness." and how equally and impenetrably intertwined sadness is with happiness. the last page of a book brings the penultimate feeling of joy but undoubtedly coupled with the final feeling of loss of the relationship you just ended by finishing the last sentence on the page.

each monumental accomplishment closes the door. each minute task ends.

as each day passes, i become more and more comfortable with who i am. i now know my limits. the culmination of years of fine-tuning can be laid to rest in a way, and now, we can just let the engine run. there's no implication of perfection in anyway. there's only acceptance. each layer of uselessness i packed on is disintegrating. and one day, i'll be left with only the useful. the most necessary. and i look forward to that day. because then i will have really achieved something. and the strange fact is i will be filled with joy but only for a little while. because when the joy dissipates and i have that quiet moment, i will be sad that i lost it.

on bended knee

yikes! that's not why all two of you tune into this blog. but i thought it was time to upload some pictures of what my mangled knee looks like. the last bit of bandage (yes, i had a bandage for over a month! i wasn't expecting that either!) fell off last night and i got my first look at my knee sans bandages. i thought it looked pretty gross so i took some pictures to share with everything. now obviously, i'm a redhead so there is some natural splotchyness to my color anyway. but you can there is still some redness and bruising from the surgery. my physical therapist, however, says it looks really good. and he is excited about how much i can straighten it and bend it. i still can't run. won't be able to run for another month or two. but i can walk pretty good. and each morning, it hurts less and less when i wake up. that's all you can ask for. i'm headed in the right direction. so don't be too freaked out by my pictures. i told demitria 'at least the incision is straight'. can you imagine if you took off your bandage and your incision was crooked? i would immediately have second thoughts about my surgeon.

you can clearly see the main incision in the pictures and also the hole in my kneecap. there are other holes around my knee too, but they don't show up too well. anyway, enjoy! and pretty soon i'll be challenging everyone to a race.

breaking the ice

these are some of our christmas activities. the bottom shot is of our wonderful tree. demitria is taking it down right now as i type. the presents have been opened. the good tidings and cheer have returned back to their rightful place and been replaced by mental neurosis and paranoia. ah, i missed those bleak winter thoughts. in the top picture, we have mr. chester, our snowman. he melted a few days ago. we have better pictures, but we can't get them off the camera yet. i'm still working on it. but it's a good picture of our entire snow-filled backyard. mr. chester is wearing a bowler hat, a red scarf and he literally has two pieces of coal for eyes. he's a sharp fellow. i was always sad at the end of frosty when he melted. and the feeling is even worse when your personal snowman melts. it's tough to take. but i hear he'll be back again next year. probably in a few short weeks. i'll keep everyone updated if mr. chester makes a return appearance.

oh my God, charlie darwin

gonna fly now

eye of the tiger

do the astros have it? no. they don't. we're a month away from spring training. that's right. we're getting close to baseball being back. and if you're an astros fan, that is a good and bad thing. the good thing is we can watch baseball. but the bad thing is it's really bad baseball. it was historically bad and it will be bad again this year. i mean real bad. chris johnson is no long term solution and it's beginning to become clear that brett wallace is not going to work out at the big league level. he seems like another jason lane. carlos lee is trending down quick. our bench is made up of scrubs. the future's so bright, i have to pull out my eyes.

the prospects on the way: singleton, cosart, villar. they might be on the way soon. paredes, martinez, altuve and castro will start the season. they looked decent at times last year. martinez showed some pop but not much. the pitching staff will be intact unless we deal wandy or brett myers, which we should. or maybe even bud norris. i'm not above dealing anybody at this point.

a new owner. a new season. baseball is almost back. the best time of year.

in the new year

new year's resolutions. aren't they great? we pick a certain day and make goals when we should be doing that everyday. and about two/three weeks later, those goals are gone because they were really only made to facilitate an immediate meaning to the new year. "this is the year i do this...". so, i'll play along:

1. pass all parts of the cpa test
2. lose the weight i've gained since surgery
3. volunteer once a month somewhere
4. take an international trip
5. buy a house

those are top five. i thought i'd stop there. i think i made a similar list earlier in the year. maybe changed a few things. once i get done with the test, i do really want to start volunteering somewhere. maybe do some work with the homeless. maybe do some sort of physical work, like helping build houses on the weekend or clean up an old person's yard. i have no idea. those are just the kinds of things i want to start filling my time with.

how about those texans? hurt and limping into the playoffs. i give them no shot at winning the game against cincinnati. they are one and done. come on jacky d! our 4th qb for the year! where is steve deberg or jeff george when you need them?

winter symphony

i've been listening to the beach boys to feel warm the last few days. however, this song perfectly hits the winter feeling that's all around us here. so merry christmas everyone. and stay tuned for pictures of snowmen to come, including the famous mr. chester who took up residence in our backyard. he's all business.