monkey burger

this is a scene from the newly created show: peanut-butter shakes. it stars the two main characters: felix and henry. both are sitting in the car as they drive down the street to the local coffee shop arpeggios.

felix: look at that dude over there. he's eating a burger and talking on the phone. that's what i like. when people call me with a mouth full of burger.

henry: probably calling the guy who made the burger. tell him how good it is. or maybe what he did wrong. forgot the pickles or something. probably.

felix: maybe. i always wondered who was the first person to kill a cow, skin it and then cook the flesh and eat it as meat. that guy was a genius.

henry: he was probably publicly scorned and wasn't allowed to own land. cause that was a big deal, owning land. if you didn't own land, you were a loser. cause there was lots of land. i mean compared to people, there was way more land than people. and trees too. probably more trees than people, but i don't think people were very interested in owning trees. maybe if they had fruit or a creature living in them. maybe then.

felix: makes sense. i don't have any trees. but i have lots of batteries.

henry: (tapping his foot to the music on the cd player)

felix: if you feel around down there and feel some batteries, let me know. there's a guy i know who collects them. he collects batteries and old postcards. from anybody. he doesn't have to know them or anything. just likes reading them.

henry: i once got a postcard from myself from the future telling me about this awesome vacation i had gone on. the card featured a monkey wearing a captain's hat. pretty authoratative figure. he was smiling and holding a drink that was in a coconut. the monkey had a shirt on, but no pants. and his nametag said "ralph." so that's how i knew it wasn't me that was writing the postcard.

felix: you thought you turned into a monkey named ralph?

henry: why would i change my name to ralph? obviously, this insidious monkey was trying to make a quick buck or something and forgot to take off his nametag. his mistake. that's why primates didn't succeed, where we did.

felix: glad we figured that one out. you think you can order a monkey burger somewhere?